President er, Trump,
(Apologies for stumbling a little over placing your name after the P word)
You are a guy true to your word. If we ever suspected those campaign promises were just empty political slogans, you sure proved us wrong. You really meant what you said. Wow!
So cool to have a strong hand at the tiller at last when it comes to the environment. If I can hold your attention for five minutes – a big ask I know – you might want to take a look when we’re getting near the end of this page at what those losers your predecessors had to say on the topic.
Jeez, their sappy ideas were never going to get us the American Dream. But now we have you in the Oval Office, we can go for broke!
Now who is it you’ve fingered for the Environment Protection Agency? Oh yeah, Scott Pruitt. Great choice. Mr Pruitt has an fine record on the environment. Isn’t he the same guy that took the EPA to court a dozen or so times in six years? I guess he took exception to the Clean Water Act being rolled out even further – who wouldn’t? And then there were those irritating rules about coal-fired power plants. He showed’em!
“Excessive regulation is killing jobs”, you say. Well Scottie’s right behind you, 110%, and now he has free rein, we’ll see some hatchet action at last. To quote another of your gems Sir, environmental protections are “out of control”.
I for one can’t wait to see Scottie light a match under all that crappy red tape. How can the hustlers keep lining their pockets, with tiresome stuff like that tying them in knots. Regulations regulations regulations – a nightmare getting in the way of the American Dream.
Now you Mr President are the Real Deal. Billionaire with fingers in multitudinous multinational pies, bestower of the noble name of Trump on real estate around the world, you Donald J Trump are the embodiment, there for all to see, of the American Dream we all aspire to.
(Your business acumen when you “bullied the small businesses that occupy the ground floor of [your] namesake Fifth Avenue skyscraper, jacking up rental prices and then suing tenants when they fought back. Court documents reveal a pattern of legal disputes within Trump Tower over the years, in which [you] the billionaire real-estate developer routinely deployed lawyers to harass the very people funding [your] extravagant and ostentatious lifestyle on the 66th floor.”¹ Wow and wow again. I am taking notes!
But let’s stick with the environment. I admit I’m a bit confused. If I understand it right, the EPA says its mission is “to protect human health and the environment — air, water and land.” Call me dumb but I can’t quite seem to square that with Mr Pruitt’s vision for it. Which is basically, to trash all that hooey getting in the way of jobs, business and ‘the marketplace’. Am I right?
Well, maybe best to scrap the EPA altogether then? Ah, already there on your To Do List of Executive Orders. I should have known you’d be on top of it. As I see it, leaving a federal agency in charge of America’s land, air and water is asking for the bureaucrats to poke their noses in where they’re not wanted. They just put roadblocks in the way of a guy’s rightful pursuit of the almighty dollar -er, I mean happiness. (Isn’t it the same thing?)
Can we hope the ESA² will go the same way? Those wolves, bears and bison are just being allowed to run wild.
Good job freezing regulations that loser you kicked out the White House left still in the pipeline – that’s the bad kind of pipeline. Generally you favour them I know. We’ll get to that in a just a minute.
Love, just love your latest Executive Order pushing through the Regulatory Reform Agenda. Out with the old curbs on business, and in with as little as you can get away with of the new. Regulations regulations regulations. One new one in, two old ones out, just like you promised. Genius!
Those Greenpeace wusses can’t hack it. Wouldn’t you just expect them to say something dumb like, “This executive order will put Trump’s unvetted corporate minions above experts at our federal agencies in charge of protecting our water, our land and our climate.” But heck, who listens to them?
Take Standing Rock. That spineless ex-Pres. left those darn water protectors there for months. But you had them out in days. That’s the way to do business. ‘Water-protectors’ – ha! More like Big-Oil-obstructors. If we start worrying about indigenous people’s rights and hysterical fears of pollution who knows where it will end. We totally need to stamp hard on anyone that gets in the way of our go-getters and our monolithic corporations making themselves richer and richer by the day. It’s plain anti-American to think any different.
And as for so-called ‘climate change’, I wouldn’t expect a man of your intellect to fall for that hogwash. It’s nothing but pseudo-science. Your nuggets of wisdom on that fake news deserve another airing:
“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” @realDonaldTrump
“It’s real cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!” @realDonaldTrump
One more thing Sir, can you please hurry up with that wall? It’s not just the foreigners. We need to keep out all that pesky wildlife as well.
So if you got this far Mr President – and I expect you will since I’ve said such a lot of nice things about you – have yourself a smirk at all this guff from former POTUSes (they are history now we have you, the genuine article) on the subject of the environment:
“Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
“A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people.”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
“If we’ve learned any lessons during the past few decades, perhaps the most important is that preservation of our environment is not a partisan challenge; it’s common sense. Our physical health, our social happiness, and our economic well-being will be sustained only by all of us working in partnership as thoughtful, effective stewards of our natural resources.”
— Ronald Reagan
“‘Environment’ is not an abstract concern, or simply a matter of aesthetics, or of personal taste — although it can and should involve these as well. Man is shaped to a great extent by his surroundings. Our physical nature, our mental health, our culture and institutions, our opportunities for challenge and fulfillment, our very survival — all of these are directly related to and affected by the environment in which we live. They depend upon the continued healthy functioning of the natural systems of the Earth.”
— Richard M. Nixon
“We must not only protect the countryside and save it from destruction, we must restore what has been destroyed and salvage the beauty and charm of our cities … Once our natural splendor is destroyed, it can never be recaptured. And once man can no longer walk with beauty or wonder at nature, his spirit will wither and his sustenance be wasted.”
— Lyndon B. Johnson
And THE most ridiculous of all from the ex-President
In the absence of sound oversight, responsible businesses are forced to compete against unscrupulous and underhanded businesses, who are unencumbered by any restrictions on activities that might harm the environment.
— Barack Obama
This guy clearly doesn’t know excessive regulation is killing jobs, does he? But then, he wasn’t even born in the USA. What do you expect from a foreigner.
Well blah blah blah. For crying out loud. Who needs forests? Who needs critters and flowers – they just take up good ranching and mining land. Who needs bees for heavens sake? Who the heck needs National Parks (more land there for ranching and mining). Who needs crap like romance and history, heritage, environment and nature?
Who needs beauty, wonder or spirit? Notions like that are nuts. What we need, and all we need, is evergrowing heaps of dollar bills. The rest is for the girls.
For those of a less Trumpian mindset, the Center for a New American Dream may be of interest. The Center redefines the American Dream as “… a focus on more of what really matters, such as creating a meaningful life, contributing to community and society, valuing nature, and spending time with family and friends.” Not a dollar sign in sight.
Join the People’s Climate Movement & the March for Climate, Justice & Jobs April 29th 2017, Washington DC
More actions you can take for the environment here
Read more about the President’s plans for the EPA here
Read about the President’s climate-change-denying top energy aide here
Read about first lawsuit filed against head of EPA Scott Pruitt here
Read about the threats to the ESA here
Donate to Endangered Species Coalition Action Center here
27th February 2017 EPA may soon have 300 empty desks after Trump slashes budget
28th February 2017 This guy doesn’t let the grass grow under his feet. He tore off another leaf from his executive order pad to dismantle the Clean Water Rule
¹ Vanity Fair
²Endangered Species Act
6 memorable quotes about the environment from former U.S. presidents – MNN
Barack Obama Quotes About Environment – A-Z Quotes
What is the American Dream Today? – the balance
Could US endangered species rules go extinct under Trump? – Focusing on Wildlife
Inauguration Day Special
What Trump’s Triumph Means for Wildlife
A Fragile Butterfly Joins the Face Off at Standing Rock